


love, selfish love.

by redvox



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M, TASTY TASTY, Unrequited Love, because it is! jeremy does like ryan that way but it is not said, jeremwood, listen to love selfish love because thats what i jammed to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 08:25:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19225390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redvox/pseuds/redvox
Summary: “take a picture,” jeremy jokes, stepping up onto the platform and adjusting his top. he strikes a pose, trying to be as candid as he could while not being candid. “then you’ll remember both of us forever!”ryan’s face drops to a small frown, but he masks it well by holding his phone over his face and swiping on the screen to pull up the camera. “don’t remind me.”





	love, selfish love.

“it’s shocking this is still standing,” jeremy says, his gloved hand running up a stone pillar. “you think they realize this is here?”

ryan shrugs his shoulders and lets out a soft huff. “no. and i don’t want them to.”

the sun overhead is burning bright through the clear blue sky. there’s a concrete platform, hoisted off the ground by its sheer width. there’s cracked stairs leading up to stand on the slab, and along the length of the platform are stone pillars. they rise high, casting large, long shadows onto the slab and providing shade to anyone who sits under them. they are decorated with thin cracks due to age, but remain sturdy enough for someone—or something, to lean against with all of their weight. on the other side of the slab is a distant forest, full of luscious trees and thick shrubs. a few trees that blossom pink are decorated here and there, adding a wonderful contrast to the rich green. the platform itself adds to the mix as well, beige pillars obstructing the view.

“take a picture,” jeremy jokes, stepping up onto the platform and adjusting his top. he strikes a pose, trying to be as candid as he could while not being candid. “then you’ll remember both of us forever!”

ryan’s face drops to a small frown, but he masks it well by holding his phone over his face and swiping on the screen to pull up the camera. “don’t remind me.”

jeremy’s sunglasses reflect the sun at an angle that makes it look like his eyes glow. his purple hoodie clashes with the green background, but his black pants seem to blend well. his baseball cap provides a little green with the logo on the front matching the trees. his shoes are dimmed in color, thanks to the shadows of the pillars, and look like a deep, royal purple instead of neon. 

he doesn’t blend well, but he makes it work. ryan takes a picture and puts his phone away. 

“won’t let me see? is it that bad?” jeremy gasps and puts a hand over his heart. “i’m so hurt, ry!”

ryan scoffs, a bittersweet smile crawling over his face. “it’s for me to remember, not you.” he gets on the platform as well, and sits towards the edge facing the trees. 

jeremy walks over to ryan and sits across from him, back against the bottom of a pillar. ryan mimics, and he faces jeremy. 

“take off your sunglasses, asshole.”

jeremy laughs, coming from the heart, and it melts the sorrow of a good-bye. he takes off his shades and puts them aside, the sound of the metal gently scraping against the concrete being, for a moment, bitter to the ears. “fine!”

ryan lets out a heavy sigh. “i’ve never been good at saying ‘¡Adiós!’ to people. something about it hurts. maybe it’s just you,” he laughs, and it grants a small chortle from jeremy. “i’m sad that you’re leaving, even if i don’t show it.”

jeremy shrugs his shoulders and tilts his head back, moving his eyes to look at the scenery rather than ryan. “i get that. and i know you’re taking this the hardest, since we’ve been battle buddies since i joined. i’m not good at this either. being sappy isn’t my strong suit. you all made me really happy, and to leave happiness behind in pursuit of something bigger—it seems selfish, right? but it’s not like i’m going to break away forever. i’ll come back for visits, or even go touring here.”

“it’s not selfish,” ryan says, his eyes focusing on someone who won’t look back. “you’re going to kick ass out there, being a musician and all. you’ll make it big. plus, music makes you happy. so you’re not abandoning all of it.”

ryan and jeremy sit in silence. the distant sound of birds chirping breaks the sadness into pieces, but it doesn’t go away. it sits and waits for someone to jump on it, to ruin the mood and make someone cry. 

ryan bites the bullet.

“jeremy, i have a confession to make.”

jeremy finally looks ryan in the eyes and nods. “what’s up?”

“everyone goes to the end of the world with secrets they don’t want to keep. and i hate keeping my secrets from close friends like you. i’ve never been good at this, and yet.. i’m trying, right? this is my confession. i love you.”

jeremy blinks, but he cracks a smile and laughs. “yeah? i already knew that, ry.”

“what?” 

jeremy picks himself up and looks down at ryan. ryan immediately stands up and gets close to jeremy. the distance between them is small, but it doesn’t guarantee that this will work out like ryan pictured it in his head. 

“i knew you loved me. because i love you too! you’re my best friend, and i get that expressing your emotions is super hard. but i’m glad you opened up to me in such a sappy way. it makes me really sad that i’m leaving.” 

ryan’s heart shatters. he nods and gives a bitter laugh. “yeah, uh, thanks.”

jeremy throws his arms around ryan and hugs him, burying his face into ryan’s chest. “i won’t let you go, i promise. you’ll be on my mind, always.”

ryan nods and hugs jeremy back. despite having the warmth of jeremy to comfort him, all ryan can feel is cold. his body feels like a husk, empty and hollow. 

“let’s get back,” jeremy breaks away and pats ryan’s arm. “i’m sure that they’re done planning my good-bye party.”

ryan turns his head away and nods. “sure,” he sighs out. a single tear falls from his face, but he wipes away any trace of it.

not your day to cry.

**Author's Note:**

> i was feeling emo this morning so here’s this. xx  
> the title is the song i listened to.


End file.
